Rude Boy (C917) $79.00

Lookie here lads! I have something that’ll put a smile on your face, a song in your heart and, most importantly, some BIG joy in your bum. Allow me to introduce you to my new BFF — Rude Boy. Just when you thought the women folk had a monopoly on all the vibratin’ fun along comes this little fella.

Hey, wait a minute! Why are the good people at JT’s Stockroom sending me all these things to stuff in my hole? Oh, I know.
• It’s because my butt is my friend.
• It has as many pleasurable nerve endings as my cock.
• Prostate massage is good for me.
• And my tushie needs some lovin’ too.

Yes siree, my friends, if you’re lookin for just the right thing that’ll start you down the road to years of prostate pleasure and health; Rude Boy is just the thing for you.

Now don’t get me wrong. When I say I enjoy some stimulation down below, I’m not talkin’ massive insertions. No, I like it subtle. I have nothing against someone pummeling his or her poop-chute with an object that could easily pass for a floor lamp. To each his own! But for me, a little goes a very long way. I prefer to savor, not gorge. That’s way I like Rude Boy. Think of it as a fine aged Merlot for your ass.

Let’s start with appearances. Some guys don’t go in for the butt play thing, because some of the products on the market have a fussy, over-stylized look to them. Not Rude Boy! There’s nothing girly about it. It’s manly lookin’ cuss from its soft black medical grade silicone shaft with the upward curve to its classy chrome tip. It’s as handsome as it is functional. Why, you could leave this sonofabitch lyin around the garage or workshop and no one would be the wiser. It looks like the kinda thing ya use to change out the sparkplugs.

Rude Boy ‘s smooth shaft is of modest girth (about 1” in diameter). This makes for effortless insertion, even for a rank amateur. The shank is angled so that when fully inserted its soft tip will make love to your prostate. The tiny silicone cleats on its flared end will land smack-dab against your taint (perineum). And the smart bullet end will nuzzles your nuts. It’s like havin’ three toys in one!

But there’s more. The thing sings…or should I say vibrates. Depress the silicone nub on the bullet and this puppy comes to life. It’s so perfect. (Note: Rude Boy runs on one of those small flat watch batteries. The first one is included.)

And here’s a really big plus in my book — Rude Boy is brilliantly quiet. Believe me, there’s nothing I hate more than to have a discreet pleasure session ruined by a vibe noisy enough to wake the dead. What are some of these manufacturers thinking?

I began my first session lying on my back. I used water-based lube (the only kind of lube to use with a silicone toy) to grease me up inside. This is absolutely essential for all ass play; but you know that already, huh? For this purpose, I recommend a Lube Shooter (C123). You can’t go wrong with one of these doohickeys. It makes gettin the proper amount of lube deep inside your hole more manageable. I then added a nice coat of lube to Rude Boy’s shank and presto; it effortlessly slipped into place. If you’re like me, you’ll wonder how you lived so long without one of these things pluggin your ass.

I gave my innards a few moments to adjust to the insertion before I got to my knees and then sat back on my haunches. I switched on the vibe. The cleats on my taint and the soft shaft lodged in my bunghole massaged my prostate both inside and out. Jeez Louise, this was fuckin’ amazing. This was the ideal position for me. The pleasure was so intense (in a good way) that I just leaned back and marveled at the ooze of precum bubbling from my rigid johnson. And the chrome tip tickled my nuts in the most delightful way.

Remember, not everyone has the same internal anatomy, so you may find that a little manual manipulation is necessary to redirect Rude Boy before it settles into precisely the right position for you.

While Rude Boy is designed to pleasure your bum for an extended period of time, it is not your traditional butt plug. For starters, there is no notch on Rude Boy’s shank for you sphincter to lock on to. Depending on your expectations, this may or may not be a good thing. Keeping Rude Boy in place, especially when it is slick with lube, can be challenging. But doing so will work your PC muscle like crazy. And everyone knows what a good thing that it, right? Since Rude Boy won’t lock in place, so to speak, without that traditional notch, you will have the freedom to adjust its position as frequently as you want for just the right amount of sensations where you need it.

Rude Boy ‘s unique hands free design enables you to sit and rock at the same time you stroke and tug on your balls. You’ll love it! Try a little edging while Rude Boy is in place. You will be surprised by the amount of spooge you shoot when you finally cum.

My second ride on Rude Boy was in the bathtub. That’s a right, sex fans, this little marvel is fully submersible. Imagine all the secret fun you’ll have this summer in the pool or at the beach.

And ladies, no need to get all envious of Rude Boy, because the same folks who developed it makes Rock Chick just for you.

ENJOY

-Dr.Dick

Hey sex Fans!

I’d like to introduce you to a handy little vibrating plug that’ll surely put a smile on your face. This unisex toy will jazz up whatever spot you got — G-Spot or P-Spot. Since I’m a proud owner of a P-Spot (prostate), I’ll do my testifyin’ from that particular pew. I’ll let all you G-Spot owners come to your own conclusions.

This here Pandora massager is the perfect utensil for the novice butt pirate. Not overly familiar with things pokin’ you in the be-hind? Not to worry, this smooth ergonomic slim-jim will enter with ease. Guys who are used to having big toys in their hole will probably be unimpressed with this beginner’s model, but the rest of us will appreciate its modest size.

But hold on there, maybe you don’t know a butt plug from a hole in your head. Okey dokey, here’s the 411 on these puppies. Plugs are different from most dildos and other anal toys. They’re shorter and have a unique shape. The insertable part is tapered, designed for easy insertion and comfort while you got it in ya.

The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the flared base keeps it from slipping inside your bum. Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?

Anyhow, Pandora has everything you’d expect in a plug. Plus it has this swell hooked end that is designed to hit the spot, if ya catch my drift. And there’s a bonus; it vibrates too. Not all butt plugs do, ya know. There are seven, count them, seven different speeds and pulsations, which makes that little soft hooked end thingy do a happy dance on your P-Spot. And boy if that don’t make you see the light, nothin’ will.

There is nothing overpowering about this little bugger. Its vibration/pulsation is sweet and gentle, just the thing for the anal-lovin’ trainee. I encourage you to take your time getting to know all the different speeds and pulsations. I allowed the Zen like vibrations to build as I moved through the different sensations. And it was so much better than just throwin’ it into high gear from the get go. Vibration control is found at the base of the unit.

The quality wireless Japanese motor is super quiet. It runs on 3 of them flat watch batteries. But don’t worry; your first rides are free. This puppy is already loaded with batteries and is ready to get at ya right out of the package.

And here’s a tip. Once you get used to having this discreet pleasure puppy in your bum, you can just leave it there for an extended time. That’s the beauty part of a plug’s flared end. You’ll never have to worry that it will go missing up inside. Imagine how this little number will make you feel as you wisk your way through all your humdrum household tasks. And you can bank on that!

The Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager is available At Stockroom.com !!!

— dr dick

More About Dr. Dick:
Dr. Dick’s philosophy is affirming the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others. His clinical services cover a full range of sexual heath concerns. Dr. Dick completed his doctoral studies in 1981 and been involved sexological activities including counseling, teaching, lecturing, writing, publishing, video production, in-service training and facilitating groups and workshops. He’s also been writing an online sex advice column for over a decade. His therapeutic training includes The Institute for Advanced Study in Human Sexuality San Francisco, The University of California, San Francisco Human Sexuality Unit, and The Pacific Center for Human Growth, Berkeley. He is Board certified by The American College of Sexologists, The American Board of Sexology and The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.