“What an old cunt I am.”
I didn’t say that. I would never have said that. Not to her, anyway. Sure, all cunts become old cunts sooner or later, but they hate to hear it. It’s the same with dicks. We all soften up.
“You know what I did the other […]

She sat down in front of me. She was huge. A big girl. She must have weight in at a good 240 pounds, maybe 250. She had bought some cooked shrimp and was eating them cold over ice. She stuck an entire shrimp in her mouth & sucked out the meat discarding the cartilages on my floor. As she ate I watched her greasy fingers pop one shrimp after the other into her mouth & sucked down beers. Between shrimps she would tell me about herself, always passionate.

I am a very sensitive person. Much like an eggshell. No, that’s not right. More like an egg. I still have the mush & goop inside. My guts. A single cold egg. I used to think I had the gift of sight. A perfect game.

“I’ll trample all over your modern shit, motherfucker.” This was more than a threat. Many of us had brothers & sisters living here. We had wives & girlfriends. We had children. I wet my pants & checked for blood. None. Good. Wine was poured into cups […]

I am
six feet tall
240 lbs.
and make you put it in your mouth
to make you shut the fuck up.
- Gordy Amede -

i am to become my very own laughingstock, my own village idiot.
a donkey with an ass on both ends, farting, ha!

We were all sitting around drinking, three of us anyway.
The stories were all random, none of us paying too much
attention to a topic, amusing ourselves for the most part.
“Jesus Penus! What a salty dog I have become! To think
I have all these place I have to go, so many things to
do!”
We laughed, “And then there […]

The truth is I wanted to tell you about my friend’s mom and what happened when she came over yesterday. Well, both of my parents work and she’s a stay-home mom. It was about one in the afternoon. I was watching TV when I heard a knock on the door. She was wearing a blue flower print dress. She wondered if I had a hammer. I said “yes” and got her one. She fanned herself with her hands and asked if I had any iced tea.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat.
Conversation wasn’t working, rather it was working too well, all she did was talk. Talk good, too. We sat around drinking a bottle of red wine I found in the garage; drinking, talking, listening to music… and she said wonderful […]

I got my first bra when I was twelve. I’ll never forget it. My mother and I had been talking about going shopping for bras for two months. Finally, one day at the mall she says “Well, let’s go in and see if there’s any in your […]

“Ping! Ping! Go chow!” Johnny shouted, and he threw a piece of chalk at his small blackboard, shattering it into a thousand pieces. “Go chow! Sup’, sup’po!” he […]

I can’t remember exactly when it was that mom began wearing shit on her face.