s&m.com
INSTRUCTION, ADVICE & RESOURCES

To Belt or Not To Belt?

September 2nd, 2009

One of the more interesting debates among devotees of the fine art of orgasm denial is around the use of chastity devices.  With apologies to William Shakespeare, To belt, or not to belt: that is the question. 
There are many dominants who feel that a chastity belt is absolutely essential for putting their submissives into the […]

Chastity: The Process of Discovering Pleasure in Power

June 11th, 2009

Chastity: The Process of Discovering Pleasure in Power
By Midori
An excerpt from “Wild Side Sex”
Many, many moons ago when I was just a baby femme top trying to make my first few tentative steps towards dominance, I took possession of a lover of mine for two weeks as my slave. Although I was new to running […]

Spark™ - Safety First

August 27th, 2007

The Violet Wand is ideal for beginners, because it is one of the safest electrical sex toys on the market , and one of the few you can use with confidence when playing above the waist or around the heart (unlike EMS units). You may zap your partner(s) (or be zapped) around the mouth, the head, above the waist, and on the genitals. And depending on the setting and/or attachment being used, the Violet Wand offers an incredible range of sensations available for play.

Spark™

July 12th, 2007

Recently, I was talking to a friend and fellow teacher about writing gigs, forthcoming work and the like. I told her about my new short story collection due out next year—she told me about her latest book tour and new novel she’s writing. Shop talk.
We are, as I say, friends, so I decided […]

Master and Slave

April 30th, 2007

To begin a discussion about the rules and guidelines of a master/slave relationship, you must first understand that there are no rules and guidelines for a master/slave relationship. The historical models stretch the entire length of the human experience, from ancient slaves in the Egyptian and Roman Empires to modern indentured workers. In the ancient […]

SM And Child Abuse: For Some, A Difficult Connection With The Past

April 23rd, 2007

In the therapy room, I frequently discover that SM bottoms are in the scene because they unconsciously try to recreate their abusive experiences in the hopes that they can somehow un-do the traumas of their past and find love. During the SM scene itself, the bottom is returned to the emotional site of the original trauma back in time, but that is usually as far as it goes. Sometimes, things go a bit further when, after the bottom “breaks” in a scene, the Top moves closer emotionally to support the bottom. Then the desired “love” happens for the bottom. The irrational belief operating in bottom’s head is, “If I can just get through this, the love will be waiting for me on the other side.”

The Six Commandments of Healthy SM:

April 11th, 2007

Physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, SM can be very intense; like any intense activity it has the short-term potential to draw people farther into it than they might on other occasions regard as wise; know your limits, learn the limits your partners want to adhere to, and play within the limits you and your partners have agreed upon

What is a Sissy Boy?

April 10th, 2007

Sissies require constant reminders of their place, which is groveling at your feet. They get smacked in the face or on the rump when they misbehave. They are “made” to dress up in things like makeup, perfume, frilly undergarments, teen and training bras, knee-high socks and Mary janes, catholic schoolgirl uniforms, maid outfits in rubber or satin, party dresses, press-on nails, and high heels. Sissies get spanked. A lot.

Why SM?

April 6th, 2007

I do SM in search of a moment’s clarity and pureness of existence. In the act of SM and D/s I shed layers. I shed the layers of calcified defenses and starched propriety and peel away my civilized veneer. In the act of SM and D/s I must be fully present in the moment.

Foreward to Consensual Sadomasochism

April 3rd, 2007

Self-acceptance, self esteem, pride, and dignity form the foundation of a happy life. They are also the four qualities which most novice SMers find most difficult to realize within themselves. In this culture, it is difficult to feel proud when the sting of a whip is your idea of a sensual caress…We are taught that to crave forbidden sensations, to hunger for taboo thrills, to journey into sexual transcendence are sins.

Cross-Dressing and Sissies

March 27th, 2007

excerpt from Violet Blue’s Fetish Sex: Wearing women’s clothing and/or makeup is an entry into a hidden, forbidden world. For men, it is full of secrets – sexy secret. From makeup tricks to walking in heels, squeezing into tight but soft undergarments to assuming a submissive sexual role – it’s all very far from the world of men, and what it means to be one.

Coping with a Colostomy

May 29th, 2006

My husband/submissive and I have enjoyed a wide variety of toys and equipment from the Stockroom over the past few years. Thanks for a great site! Now, I find myself in the unfortunate position of having to ask for some advice. My husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer in September and has had surgery…including a […]

NAVIGATION