The Violet Wand is ideal for beginners, because it is one of the safest electrical sex toys on the market , and one of the few you can use with confidence when playing above the waist or around the heart (unlike EMS units). You may zap your partner(s) (or be zapped) around the mouth, the head, above the waist, and on the genitals. And depending on the setting and/or attachment being used, the Violet Wand offers an incredible range of sensations available for play.

Recently, I was talking to a friend and fellow teacher about writing gigs, forthcoming work and the like. I told her about my new short story collection due out next year—she told me about her latest book tour and new novel she’s writing. Shop talk.
We are, as I say, friends, so I decided […]

To begin a discussion about the rules and guidelines of a master/slave relationship, you must first understand that there are no rules and guidelines for a master/slave relationship. The historical models stretch the entire length of the human experience, from ancient slaves in the Egyptian and Roman Empires to modern indentured workers. In the ancient […]

In the therapy room, I frequently discover that SM bottoms are in the scene because they unconsciously try to recreate their abusive experiences in the hopes that they can somehow un-do the traumas of their past and find love. During the SM scene itself, the bottom is returned to the emotional site of the original trauma back in time, but that is usually as far as it goes. Sometimes, things go a bit further when, after the bottom “breaks” in a scene, the Top moves closer emotionally to support the bottom. Then the desired “love” happens for the bottom. The irrational belief operating in bottom’s head is, “If I can just get through this, the love will be waiting for me on the other side.”

Physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, SM can be very intense; like any intense activity it has the short-term potential to draw people farther into it than they might on other occasions regard as wise; know your limits, learn the limits your partners want to adhere to, and play within the limits you and your partners have agreed upon

I do SM in search of a moment’s clarity and pureness of existence. In the act of SM and D/s I shed layers. I shed the layers of calcified defenses and starched propriety and peel away my civilized veneer. In the act of SM and D/s I must be fully present in the moment.

Self-acceptance, self esteem, pride, and dignity form the foundation of a happy life. They are also the four qualities which most novice SMers find most difficult to realize within themselves. In this culture, it is difficult to feel proud when the sting of a whip is your idea of a sensual caress…We are taught that to crave forbidden sensations, to hunger for taboo thrills, to journey into sexual transcendence are sins.

excerpt from Violet Blue’s Fetish Sex: Wearing women’s clothing and/or makeup is an entry into a hidden, forbidden world. For men, it is full of secrets – sexy secret. From makeup tricks to walking in heels, squeezing into tight but soft undergarments to assuming a submissive sexual role – it’s all very far from the world of men, and what it means to be one.