We were all sitting around drinking, three of us anyway.

The stories were all random, none of us paying too much

attention to a topic, amusing ourselves for the most part.

“Jesus Penus! What a salty dog I have become! To think

I have all these place I have to go, so many things to


We laughed, “And then there is always the one who

throws himself across my path. What to do with him?”

That really sent us into a fit. “Hold on. A funny little story

about these architects, this one is hilarious! Getting

together somewhere in trance, they’ve planned it all out.

Who sleeps where, what kind of plants are to go in the

garden, which windows will open and how far. A great

group of guys! Love ’em.” We giggle and drink, “then come

all the motherfuckers. Those greasy little worms have

made their home once again inside my ballsack. Shucks.

This is not a sickness, or a spell, how well I know it.

Ii pick them out patiently, laying them on the bathroom

sink for inspection. I inspect them! My father finds me

like this all the time and we have a good laugh about it.

‘Lord have mercy!’ he says, and I keep grinning like a

mad cat whenever he says that.” What gives? Can I do this

or do I know this person? Well, sure. I never could stand

to see a grown man squirm, so I tell them what I know:

“All these really great men, really powerful men, great

politicos keep contacting me. It may sound queer, but

I’ve got pull. I’m young and all that, so… I’ve got

certain important men, Washington-types with serious phone

voices, can I do this or do I know this person? They’ve

got all these hokey ideas, mostly civic things, but I

tell them, “hey,” I say, “the secret of life is to have no

fear…” Oh yeah? Sure. Eventually the calls stopped coming.

Whatever, it’s like leading dogs around by their dicks.

Dick first, sure. Dirty sons-a-bitches. ha. ha. ha. And

they are rolling with that one. One of them gets up and

turns the radio on. He wants to dance, so he starts

dancing, making a fool for us, and we laugh when he

pretends he’s dancing with a girl. ” I am the Great

Compassionator! I wear a dress! I cuss! Yes, I say the

dirtiest things, I am a dog with shit for fur! I’m dancing

over your graves! I’m dancing without knowing!

A glass broke and beer spilled all over the floor, nobody

stopped to clean up the mess. We were all having too good

of a time. More drink, always more drink. I don’t know where

all the booze came from…

© 2002 Gordy Amede

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